The best email my brother ever sent me.

I got a new job this week. Long story short, I work here and these guys are my new bosses. So basically I am the most important person in Hollywood, ever.

Who's more excited about the job than me? My brother. He just sent me this email:

From: Jason Rhodes
Date: May 25, 2007 12:17:48 AM PDT
To: Amy Rhodes
I had a dream last night that you were going on a ski trip with your new Hollywood buddies. I was really impressed. But then I asked who you were going with and you told me it was Teri Garr. True story.

There's No Crying In Disneyland.

Keely turned three this past weekend and to celebrate my parents, her parents and I took her to Disneyland. The Happiest Place On Earth turns even the cutest child ugly. At some point, every kid there devolves into a crying, sweaty, cracked out mess.

Keely's meltdown came right as we left The Tiki Room - you know, where all the birds sing words and the flowers croon, in the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room. She dropped a plastic toy that she had been given during the Main Street Parade off of the Tiki Room deck and immediatly lost her shit. She went limp, fell to the ground and started weeping. Weeping. Almost to the point of keening. Then she yelled, "Amy! I just can't anymore." Too much of a good thing, I guess.

I really wanted to tell her to enjoy it, because life isn't fair and it only gets harder and bills and jobs and relationships and shattered dreams and unrelaized expectations and also men are pigs. But why ruin a good day, right? So instead I just leaned down and said, "Grrrl, you can't cry at Disneyland. If Tinkerbell finds out she will make you go home." Guess what? It worked. She immediatly stopped crying and asked for popcorn. Thank god, because my Plan B was to tell her to shut up and slap her but hard.

Happy LIVESTRONG Day.

Today is LIVESTRONG Day.

I just took five minutes out of my day to write to my California elected officials telling them that I support The Cancer Screening, Treatment and Survivorship Act of 2007. If you click the link above you can do that too.

Then, tomorrow, to celebrate, come to the final show of Three Compañeros at UCB Theatre at 8pm. My mom and dad will be there and to be totally honest if you don't show up they are going to be PISSED.

Grrrl, tell me about it.

Someone needs to take a chill pill.

I was at a stop light yesterday and Leonardo DiCaprio pulled up in a car next to me. For reasons I can not begin to explain, when he looked over at me I waved. A full blown, we know each other, wave. I don't know why I did it, but the point is: I did it. It was out there. And when someone waves at you I think you need to respond in kind. Can I get a what what? Anyway, Leo did not wave back. He did, however, manage to roll his eyes at me before making a right turn. Really? An eye roll? Lighten up, Francis.

The biz, love and secrets.

I was babysitting Keely the other night and I got there late because I was in a meeting. About an hour after I got there we were eating dinner and had this conversation.

Keely: How was your meeting?
Amy: Oh. Uh. It was good I think.
Keely: Good.
Amy: Do you think it was good?
Keely: Yes.
Amy: Okay. Honestly, I never know with those kinds of things.
Keely: (screaming) You did good, Amy!
Amy: Thanks.
Keely: Amy, just so you know, I am not going to tell my mom and dad about any of our secrets.
Amy: What secrets?
Keely: (whispering) The ones about how much I love you.

Welcome, readers!

Usually people Google pretty boring things to get to my blog: Amy Rhodes, Amy Rhodes Blog, etc. But in the last week I got three real hum dingers.

"Homemade abortions."
Wow. Okay. I love things that are homemade and I am pro choice but this feels like a bad combination. Make homemade cookies (I do) and remember that The Lord loves a working man, don't trust whitey and see a doctor to get rid of it (I do).

"World's record for longest time wearing a sweatshirt."
I love this one. I mean, it is basically me in a nutshell. I probably hold this world's record for the longest time wearing a sweatshirt but I am too lazy to follow up and get the credit I deserve. I am a huge fan of sweats in both shirt and pants form. After all, if God had wanted me to wear a dress he would have given me longer legs. Am I right ladies?

"More fatties."
I take offense to this one. It should be "NO fatties" because the last thing the world needs is more fatties. Again, ladies, am I right or am I right?

Vanity bites me in the ass.

I just did a Google image search of my own name and this was the first image that came up.