EVERYONE is over Britney.
In my 22 years on this planet (wink, wink, am I right ladies?), I have heard my mom drop the f bomb less than ten times. Three of those times happened today whilst we were on the phone talking about crazy people in Hollyweird (read: basically everyone). I was talking about a famous actress I met yesterday who shall remain nameless but who was a total nutter butter:
My Mom: Well,she sounds crazy. Like Britney Spears.
Me: Oh...Britney's in the hospital again. Did you hear?
My Mom: I could give a fat fuck about Britney Spears.
Me: Did you just say fat fuck?
My Mom: Yes. I said I could give a fat fuck about Britney Spears.
Me: Wow.
My Mom: I mean it. I turned on the news today at noon while I was making my lunch and the top story was Britney Spears. I live in Iowa, I want to know if there is going to be a blizzard or what's going on with the war, not about fucking Britney Spears.
Me: You keep saying fuck!
My Mom: I know I do! I'm serious about this.(Beat.) Do you still have a cold?
My Mom: Well,she sounds crazy. Like Britney Spears.
Me: Oh...Britney's in the hospital again. Did you hear?
My Mom: I could give a fat fuck about Britney Spears.
Me: Did you just say fat fuck?
My Mom: Yes. I said I could give a fat fuck about Britney Spears.
Me: Wow.
My Mom: I mean it. I turned on the news today at noon while I was making my lunch and the top story was Britney Spears. I live in Iowa, I want to know if there is going to be a blizzard or what's going on with the war, not about fucking Britney Spears.
Me: You keep saying fuck!
My Mom: I know I do! I'm serious about this.(Beat.) Do you still have a cold?
posted by Amy at 1:25 PM
2 Comments:
im tired of turning on the news and seeing 20 cop cars, fire engines, and ambulances and thinking theres been some terrible accident or crime, when actually its just another britney spears meltdown. i pray when i move to california that i don't become crazy.
Just stumbled across your blog. It makes me laugh, which is amazing because my sense of humor was severely damaged in a horrible accident. Now I have a reason to live.
Bless you Amy Rhodes. God bless everyone.
Josh Cooley
www.cooleycooley.blogspot.com
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