Reason #1,563 That I Love My Job

Last week Bryan was on the phone confirming some business-type lunch I had to go to the next day.

Bryan: What does Amy look like? She has brown hair. A gorgeous face. Legs to London. She's stunning. You'll know her when she walks in. (Pause.) Sounds good. (Hangs up the phone, looks at me.) He says he'll be wearing the suit.

Welcome again, readers!

Once again, it's time to talk about some of the things people are Googling to get to my website.

1. Amy Rhodes
You've come to the right place! Keep up the good work.

2. homemade abortions
This one comes up an alarming amount of times. So much so, in fact, that I feel obligated to look in to it, find a recipe and post it.

3. ignored my text
Ladies! I have said it before and I will say it again. And again. And again until you listen. Men are pigs. The whole stinking lot.

4. Amy Rhodes pregnant
See #2. I'm on it.

5. love someone for who they are
I want to get a t-shirt that says that. That, or a t-shirt that says, "I gave him the thinnest years of my life." Either way.

6. last night i was in my sister's vagina
Wow. Uh, okay? I was at my sister's house in Eagle Rock last night but I have never, to the best of my knowledge, been in her vagina. I wouldn't even know how to get that whole situation started - from how to approach my sister and ask for vagina entry to the actual act of getting in to her vagina - I just can't see that going well. Also, seriously, what the fuck? Who Googled that and how the hell did they end up here? I would really love to get this email from my sister today: "Amy, I Googled that vagina thing to get to your blog." That would be a serious mind fuck.

I am getting cable tv, it's a bitch to install apparently.

Me: So, how long is it going to take you to install the cable? Like, a half hour?
Cable Guy: (laughing) I wish.

Men.Are.Pigs.

I bought a vintage Red Sox t-shirt on ebay and it is taking, like, forever for them to ship it.

Thanks to Jackie for the video.

This post is not funny.

Sorry. It's a little for real, but only for today.

P.S. I Love You Foundation (PSILYF) is an organization that is dedicated to nurturing at-risk children through educational and inspirational outreach programs to influence positive attitudes and hope. They provide a self esteem-building class (Yoga 1-2-3) for at risk youth in inner city schools.

On Sunday, August 19, 2007, at Body and Soul Workout, PSILYF will be having its biggest fundraiser of the year, Spin for Peace in Schools, and I'll be participating in an 80 minute spin class and I am asking you to sponsor me by making a donation. 100% of the proceeds go to supporting the Foundation's programs.

To make a pledge please go to here to donate online or contact me to donate by cash or check. If you donate online, let me know so I can add your donation to my fundraising list.

I know most of you are starving artists, but even $10 will help and also it will make you feel good about yourself so basically everyone wins.

Rock Of Love

My friend Chris, on the 16 women vying for the love and affection of a botoxed hot mess also known as Brett Michaels on the genius that is "Rock Of Love":

"Each of these women, in her own way, is a monster."